Dear Lauren Neutron… Week 1

*taps the mic* Hello, SCD!

My name is Lauren Neutron and your scandalous leader, Tenshi Vielle, has granted me the privilege of a new-ish column here.

The concept borrows a lot of the old Dear Dancien column that you may remember, except I’ll tell you to die in a fire or get syph a LOT less. That record is, my friends, truly broken. If there are any burning (lol, get it? Die in a fire? Get used to this, k) questions you would like to ask, you can drop a notecard on my profile inworld or email dear.lauren.neutron@googlemail.com and in return, I promise to answer every single thing that comes my way, every Saturday here at SCD.

The questions can be anything. “My bf has an alt, how do I bust his cheating ass?” “How do I avoid lag?” “What’s the truth behind *insert latest gossip sensation here*” or “Where can I find the cutest strappy heels”. Anything. Tenshi plurked a request for questions earlier this week and we’ve had a couple, so let’s get to it.

Lauren,

What happened to fri.day? They exploded in a whirlwind of marketing and plain clothes, and now they haven’t released anything in a month. I miss buying a white t shirt with an ever so slightly higher neckline each week!

Anon

I’m sure they’re just working on some innovative new products or hahahaha sorry, I couldn’t keep that up for very long. It’s only been a month! Armidi have gone a whole year without releasing anything and they still matter enough for me to mention it here. I’m sure they’ll be releasing a set of basic separates next week or the week after… It’s like Truth. People only care about the hair. Now, who are the fri.day girls? That’s another question entirely…

Hi Lauren,

I’m sorry to ask this but what is slebrity? I don’t understand the concept of the importance of e-fame, but it seems to matter a lot to a lot of people. Hope you can help,

Not-A-Slebrity

Hi, little unimportant person!

The definition of slebrity in SL, from the dictionary of Lauren (which is never wrong) is this – being known for or infamous for your creations or words or reputation in Second Life. So this could be anything from making the bestest plain white t shirts on the grid, to creating and owning shoppingcartdisco.com, to being a huge flapping vagina that queefs words onto the internet and whose name is Prok.

How much slebrity matters kind of depends on what you do. It helps to have “known” friends if you’re starting a business, for both spreading the word and advice on the creation process itself. But please remember this rule of thumb: people who care about slebrity are dicks. Regardless of whether they are one or just want to be one, they are dicks.

Being famous on the internet is nice and all, but you still log off and resume your pointless existence in your moms basement.

Hi Lauren!

What’s it like to log into SCD for the first time?

Love,

EnCore

It’s like I won the lottery but I’m still retarded.

See you next week, and feel free to ask whatever you desire!

Email: dear.lauren.neutron@googlemail.com

Drop a notecard: Lauren Neutron